


crescendo

by ocelot



Category: Shingeki no Kyojin | Attack on Titan
Genre: Character Death, Character Study, Drabble, F/M, Introspection
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-11-22
Updated: 2013-11-22
Packaged: 2018-01-02 08:19:28
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 525
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1054576
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ocelot/pseuds/ocelot
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>They spent their whole lives secretly in love with each other.</p>
            </blockquote>





	crescendo

i.

Mikasa never told him she loved him.

She knew he loved her too. Despite never telling her, despite moving his hand away every time hers was so close he could feel the warmth from it. His love was echoed when wiped the blood off her face, when he wrapped the scarf around her, when he smiled at her, when he saved his dessert for her.

Eren had loved her since the moment he saw her and would love her until he died, but he didn’t want to be the idea of love to her, he wanted to be love. Not the hope or promise or entrapment of love, just love, but he knew that was a fool’s dream so he stayed silent.

She knew he was afraid of losing control, of hurting her. She was afraid too, but not of him. Even with all their bravado they were still children.   

ii.

Eren fought like hell to stay with her, even when the only person he was fighting was himself. She would have died for him. There were countless times when she thought she was going to. When it seemed like it was all over. Her life didn’t flash before her eyes. There was no light.    

iii.

They never kissed. She closed her eyes and pictured his face when she kissed them. She imagined what he would taste like, feel like against her. They were strangers to her. She tried not to learn their names or anything about them. She didn’t know them, but she knew of them. There were times when she saw them in passing and had to avert her gaze. Eren never asked her about it. She wondered if he thought about her late at night when he couldn’t sleep, if he bit his tongue to keep from saying her name when he came.  

iv.

She watched him die. His hand slipped from hers. She kissed his cold lips (their first and only kiss) and rested her head on his chest. His heartbeat had always been like music to her. She stayed like that until she heard the door open. Mikasa forced herself to stand. Armin knew from the look on her face that his best friend was gone. He had never seen such profound sadness.

“Don’t look, Armin.” Her voice cracked with every word. She had to be strong. She had to be strong for Armin. “Just close your eyes, it’s going to be ok.”

But he didn’t close his eyes. He had never seen Eren look so peaceful. Armin knew he was some place better now, somewhere beautiful. He would meet him there after all this nonsense was over with. He let her wrap herself around him. She buried her face in the crook of his neck. Her arms were around his waist, squeezing his ribs, and she was stepping on his toes. He let her stay with him that night. It wasn’t the first time they had shared a bed and something told him it wouldn’t be the last. 

By tomorrow she will have pulled herself together and it would feel like he was only one who lost Eren.


End file.
